It’s May 6th today. In a little over a month I will have my 41st birthday.
While the past three years have been a struggle, things have slowly improved. Things have gotten better.
But I have to look at that and compare to what I should be at this time in my life. I still have no retirement. I still have enough debt to make me uncomfortable. I still haven’t recovered what I had before Wall Street sabotaged the American economy with their debt scams, and I got weasel-worded out of my and my brother’s full inheritance.
Yes, I can recover. Yes, I have made remarkable steps in recovering my ability to support myself. But at the cost of years, and I still haven’t recovered fully. Continue reading
I know I promised regular updates again, but after last post things got busy at work. Working on reworking document templates and workflows and email templates and new processes, I haven’t had the brainspace to properly contemplate another blog post.
I’ve had a couple of ideas rattling around, but I’ve found I need more time to shake them out before committing keyboard to text-entry field, (to adapt an old phrase in a completely strange way,) and the time just ain’t been there.
Warning: this blog post was extremely difficult to write, and took a while to make it into words. I started writing this on Wednesday, September 9th, and I’m just pressing publish now.
Before I continue, I want to be clear that I’m not sympathy-gathering. I’m not trying to blame people. I’m not trying to compete in a “my life is so hard” contest. I’m just looking to heal, so I’m sharing a story, a long story. This is an overview of everything, and there are some painful memories. I’ve shared parts of these stories with people, but I don’t know who knows the whole story, other than myself.
Feel free to skip this post if you don’t want to deal with it, I will categorize this post and any posts directly related to it as “Painful Stuff” so you can easily identify them. I don’t blame you for not wanting to go through this. But I need to. End of warning.
So, I leave this website alone for a couple of years….
Let me start again. In the past, I wrote in this website at least once a day for six or seven years. I’ve migrated it twice, changed engines powering it three or four times, changed the host three times, and I have backups of backups….
So why do I not have all the pages I remember having, once upon a time?
Am I really going that crazy? Or did I just think I got to these things and never did?