People around me keep getting me down. Don’t get me wrong, people have the best of intentions, but I always keep the old saying in mind:

THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS.

Good intentions are great, and it’s a thousand times better than bad intentions, but really…

I have to spend hours upon hours fixing things gone wrong because people didn’t think things through before acting.

Sometimes I get left out of things because I ask that people be thorough with their efforts, that they think through the repercussions of their choices, decisions, and actions.

After being left out of the loop and seeing the fecal matter hit the rotating air moving device, I usually have ten to fifteen times more work to do, just to figure out what the H-E-Double-Hockey-Stick what went wrong. Usually takes me twenty times longer to actually fix things then.

Important note: I’m not just talking about work here. I’m also talking personal shit. More personal than professional, to be honest.

Here’s my over-powering question, for all the cowards that can’t keep in mind cause and effect: What the fuck are you so afraid of? Why can’t you be honest enough to TALK about what the fuck you’re doing/wanting/needing?

I don’t want philosophical answers, I want thoughtful, reasoned answers from the guilty parties, that remain hidden because I don’t want to be sued.

Questions? Call your local politician, cause I feel I was clear, and don’t feel like lying. Leave that work to the professionals.

I don’t feel like needing to guess at your meaning any more.

Skåll!!

Something has been keeping me from posting, and hasn’t been resolved yet, but I’ve been staying away and holding it to myself for too long. So, here’s a partial post to offer an excuse.

I’m sick of dishonorable behavior in the people around me. Even I have succumbed to it; shame is partially to blame for my blog absence.

I don’t want forgiveness. I don’t want anyone to help prop myself or others up with excuses. I don’t want forgiveness.

Things are hard, and people are taking shortcuts. The easy way. The way that operates on hope, not logic and facts and details.

But the easy way always hurts someone, sometimes only the person taking the easy way, but usually all the people directly involved.

Unfortunately, the easy way usually involves not communicating needs and wants to others involved. Just leaving things unspoken, as understood, when they aren’t just understood.

So, people are just deciding to do things, not talk to people, and not obeying directly visible cause and effect.

I’ve been hurt thrice in the past year and a half by careless, unthoughtful, illogical actions taken by those around me. Each broke my heart. Each landed me deeper in a depression that has seriously taken it’s toll, and not just on me.

I want people around me, and concurrently myself, to start giving a damn about honor, integrity, and doing what’s best WITHOUT screwing ANYONE over, by thinking about their possible actions and their repercussions outside of a moment’s worth of pleasure.

I’d also like it if people would stop thinking with their gut, and just allow their gut to cause doubt, thus encouraging thoughtful review with others.

But that’s asking alot.

Please try. I am, every minute of every day.

Skåll!!!

It chafes me a bit, as I dislike politics and the lies and misleading attitudes contained within, but lately I can’t avoid it.

The reaction to the Health Care bill is childish, and completely unworthy of attempts to justify it.

This is not to say I agree with all aspects the Health Care bill, this is not to say that I support it as-is, this is to say just this: to those that disagree with it, stop acting like the ever-feared terrorists you claim to hate so much.  Some of you have fought against terroristic tactics, and now you employ them?

Assholes, the lot of you — calling supporters of this Health Care bill “baby-killers”, calling the black members of the government who participated “niggers”, calling homosexual members “faggots”, mailing powders to offices, calling in threats…  You make me sick, and display all the worst aspects of humanity.

We have a public forum and discussion about these things, and when you have lost the battle you shut the hell up and wait for another chance.

And on that topic, just because you have your beliefs doesn’t mean someone who holds other beliefs is inferior.

You claim to hold our democratic-flavored process in high regard, until you don’t get your way.

And on the other side, those who worked so hard to get this Health Care bill through: quit gloating already.  Gawddammit, things are difficult enough because they don’t want to give up the fight, and you start pissing gasoline on the fire?

This economy has a long fucking way to go to recover, all of us have to just buckle down and keep working to make it better.  The collective infighting and bickering and childishness isn’t helping one little bit.  All y’all: shut the hell up and move on to the next topic.

And news media outlets?  Please start covering other news.  Our fucking Health Care stuff is not the only thing going on in the world, when six billion people all over the place doing things all the damn time.  Quit covering the same six stories over and over, and quit trying to win the argument about Health Care.  Let’s find out what’s going on elsewhere on this spinning ball of mud.

I’ll get back to regular posts when life gets a little more even-keeled for me.  I just got tired of remaining silent on this.

The straw that broke the camel’s back?  Someone told me Bush Jr. was the best president we ever had.

And now, I’m going back to lurking on the Internets.

Skåll!!!

I know two people who admit they are reflecting over their lives so far (both wouldn’t call it that, but I could convince ‘em that’s the proper wording,) and five other people who are thinking about things rather deeply.

Too deeply for casual conversation.

I’d love to say I know what’s caused this introversion because I don’t know for sure…  Mostly since I’ve been in a reflective mood over the past two months, but I can make an educated guess.

Life sucks.  Things just suck.

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Well, really, truly, foaming-at-the-mouth angry.  Being a little tweaked can lead to some interesting posts, but don’t do it when full of unfocused rage.  ’Cause blogging when a red haze clouds the vision leads to bad choices of words, and that’s just not a good thing.

So, I’ve stayed away, choosing that advice over succumbing to the bitter, nasty jumble of words and phrases just poised at the edge of my fingers, waiting to escape onto this screen.

When I was a wee-boy growing up in Duluth, I had problems with my temper.  I would say nasty things, behave atrociously, and was just a real pain at times.  One day someone said “Nate, you’re talking from your stomach too much.  Don’t speak from your stomach, just use it to start from.  It’s all just noise and smelly gas in your stomach.  Speak from your heart and your head.  That’s where you take that noise and gas and turn it into something useful.”

Well, I’m done typing the words straight from my stomach.  My head and heart are itching to get back to this thing what I call a blog.

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