Malcontent upgrade hosed a whole bunch of functionality… I’m missing content and missing tools and missing functionality…

I’m teetering on the need to do a full reinstall…

And If I have to do that, I won’t be happy, but seeing as how I’m not really happy with this website right now, we’ll have to see.

Benefits vs. cost analysis mode is GO!

Edit: 2011 July 04 23:38 – I got everything but posting fixed… Strange, but the newest upgrade came out while I was getting ready to backup and completely reinstall. The only thing left: it won’t do the WYSIWYG post or page editor… It doesn’t affect you peeps, just me. Wah.

Given some recent events and the lack of recent updates to things, I decided to upgrade my site.

I’m kinda stupid.

I think this was covered in previous posts, but just in case: I clicked on the “Upgrade now: Recommended” button, and it started downloading stuff… Until it stopped.

I stared at it, and it laughed at me. (I’m not imagining this, I know this website… Sixteen years, and I know when it’s laughing at me, versus just laughing…)

So, I stop the upgrade, and every page loads to blank.

… Read more »

Thank you for coming, everyone. This means a lot, to myself, to my family, and to his memory. I’m not going to talk to you for very long, and I’ve been very careful in my words. Please know that I’m speaking very directly to his concerns.

First off, I cannot address everything he loved, for there was so much. I hope you can fill in the gaps, and this Memorial is for that express purpose. Now I’ll continue.

Many of you friends knew my father from work, or the bar, or even coming over to the house and partaking in the famous barbecues. Many of us think we knew him well, and he allowed us to think that. But he was a far craftier person than even I gave him credit for. He was always thinking about us, never about himself.

My father lived a full life, with hardships and rewards far more reaching than I can encompass. He grew up in a West Saint Paul that was far wilder than today’s West Saint Paul where he had to carry a bat to fend off wild dogs when walking to school (or so he said), when he came of age he went to war on the carrier USS Ranger, where he toured the Pacific and encountered many adventures and wonders. On his return, he moved to Duluth and found happiness in my mother, Nick, and myself. After the divorce, he came back here and reconnected to his hometown and a metric ton of people who were rich with feeling and caring. He worked with US Airways for fifteen years, and during that time he always found happiness and interesting people, during and after work.

He didn’t really talk about himself, not to the degree that really let you know who he was, as he was more interested in you. What you thought, what you felt, how to cheer you and make you happy. And he knew he helped you find at least a little bit of happiness. And that made him happy.

He was gruff at times, downright cranky, but he always did so to make you find the best way to get through your own difficulties and have a good time while doing so. He wasn’t about hand-to-mouth feeding you things. He wanted you to be better.

The last ten years have been trying on him. Since the aneurysm, he sometimes wasn’t able to find the words he wanted to tell you. You may say that you understood, but it was important that he said them. Since he didn’t have a chance, this eulogy gives me the chance to say the words he said to me, but couldn’t say to you, for him.

Thank you, everyone, for the good times. Thank you for giving your prayers. Thank you for giving your regards. Thank you for your well wishes. Thank you for your thoughts.

As this is important, I say again: thank you for the good times, thank you for the trying times, thank you for everything.

All of those times/prayers/regards/wishes/thoughts reminded him of the goodness of all of you. He loved you all. You all meant more to him than you may think, or really believe, or understand. Your happiness enriched him more than any of us suspected, or truly understood.

Your visit here means more than simple words can express. Thank you a million times over. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Very much.

Please, share your memories and your thoughts. That was what his house was about, and that was what he was about.

People around me keep getting me down. Don’t get me wrong, people have the best of intentions, but I always keep the old saying in mind:

THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS.

Good intentions are great, and it’s a thousand times better than bad intentions, but really…

I have to spend hours upon hours fixing things gone wrong because people didn’t think things through before acting.

Sometimes I get left out of things because I ask that people be thorough with their efforts, that they think through the repercussions of their choices, decisions, and actions.

After being left out of the loop and seeing the fecal matter hit the rotating air moving device, I usually have ten to fifteen times more work to do, just to figure out what the H-E-Double-Hockey-Stick what went wrong. Usually takes me twenty times longer to actually fix things then.

Important note: I’m not just talking about work here. I’m also talking personal shit. More personal than professional, to be honest.

Here’s my over-powering question, for all the cowards that can’t keep in mind cause and effect: What the fuck are you so afraid of? Why can’t you be honest enough to TALK about what the fuck you’re doing/wanting/needing?

I don’t want philosophical answers, I want thoughtful, reasoned answers from the guilty parties, that remain hidden because I don’t want to be sued.

Questions? Call your local politician, cause I feel I was clear, and don’t feel like lying. Leave that work to the professionals.

I don’t feel like needing to guess at your meaning any more.

Skåll!!

Something has been keeping me from posting, and hasn’t been resolved yet, but I’ve been staying away and holding it to myself for too long. So, here’s a partial post to offer an excuse.

I’m sick of dishonorable behavior in the people around me. Even I have succumbed to it; shame is partially to blame for my blog absence.

I don’t want forgiveness. I don’t want anyone to help prop myself or others up with excuses. I don’t want forgiveness.

Things are hard, and people are taking shortcuts. The easy way. The way that operates on hope, not logic and facts and details.

But the easy way always hurts someone, sometimes only the person taking the easy way, but usually all the people directly involved.

Unfortunately, the easy way usually involves not communicating needs and wants to others involved. Just leaving things unspoken, as understood, when they aren’t just understood.

So, people are just deciding to do things, not talk to people, and not obeying directly visible cause and effect.

I’ve been hurt thrice in the past year and a half by careless, unthoughtful, illogical actions taken by those around me. Each broke my heart. Each landed me deeper in a depression that has seriously taken it’s toll, and not just on me.

I want people around me, and concurrently myself, to start giving a damn about honor, integrity, and doing what’s best WITHOUT screwing ANYONE over, by thinking about their possible actions and their repercussions outside of a moment’s worth of pleasure.

I’d also like it if people would stop thinking with their gut, and just allow their gut to cause doubt, thus encouraging thoughtful review with others.

But that’s asking alot.

Please try. I am, every minute of every day.

Skåll!!!