Ever try to look up something you know you already saw online, and not find it?
You try scrolling through your bookmarks, searching with google in the most creative of ways, stepping backward through browser history, checking out your usual haunts, looking for visited links in pages you were at, everything, and you just cannot find that dang link?
I figure that’s the closest you can get to being lost on the Internet.
Well, got up in the wee hours of the morning today and managed to get my resume finished by about 07:00. Got it uploaded/changed on my profiles at LinkedIn, Dice.com, CareerBuilder, and a couple of other job sites. After taking care of a few chores, I had the bright idea to post it on this website. I mean, this is my website, shouldn’t I put myself up on here?
I finally got to watch Dollhouse yesterday, and rewatch Firefly today. Being a Buffy fan from way-back, I’m kinda struck by how much Whedon changed between Firefly and Dollhouse. How much darker, how much less whimsical, and how much more action-driven it was.
‘Course I was kinda working on my resume and doing a few chores while watching Dollhouse…
So, keeping true to my promise, I’m posting.
Re-working my resume started out as a difficult task. Then I stopped, ate some tater tots, and read my resume. And I realized it’s disjointed and confused and, if I were the one hiring, worthy of the circular.
I forgot that I’ve been on the other side of the interviewing table, and I did at least fifteen interviews for jobs I eventually hired for.
I think I was trying too hard to follow every one of those stupid, insipid advice postings from every job site, re-employment class and seminar, blog post and news site article out there.
Long ago, when I blogged every day, I always kept myself from blogging when I had a story or post or mental-meandering with no happy ending.
Well, that’s not entirely true. I always had to leave the post with an up note, a feeling of hope, a feeling that things would work out.
I’m not exactly sure why, but I suspect it has to do with my upbringing. “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” or “Always help build, don’t just tear down” are prime example maxims amongst many such internal guides that race through my brain.
So, when life started taking some serious turns for the worse about ten years ago, I got lost. I’d try to post, but I’d get dragged down by unresolved, continuing issues plaguing my life – my father’s aneurysm, ongoing unemployment, piling bills and debt, looming foreclosure… The list just went on and on.
After a couple of slip-ups in posts, I decided that I was just too worn down by my situation and circumstances to avoid flooding my blog with negativity, so I just stopped writing. Then, when I tried to write again, I’d feel bad about the gaps in posts, and I’d not be able to continue.
That was, perhaps, the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.
Not even one of the stupidest things, the stupidest thing.