I Can’t Stand It Anymore…

I had to purchase “House” Season 1 on iTunes.

Why, you wonder?

Because I have been compared to the main character (Gregory House, MD) by five different co-workers and two associates out at work.

Of course, I had to do a little homework to find out if these people needed to be hurt for making the comparison, and after a visit to Wikipedia, well…

…I’m inclined to agree, kinda.  With some exceptions:

1. I do not have a limp, a bad leg, nor do I need a cane.  Nor do I want one.  I just like walking with my umbrella and twirling it.
2. I have no addictions to perscription drugs.  (Alcohol isn’t perscribed by doctors, is it?)
3. I groom myself better.  Hell, I dress better.  Less eighties.
4. I’m not entirely misanthropic.  Just heavily pessimistic.
5. I do not pit my employees against each other.  Encourage healthy competitiveness to keep them sharp, yes.  No pitting.
6. I do not fire people on whim.  I just point out that they should see to the fact that their mouth is moving and noise is coming out, and no work is being done, but I don’t fire them.

I do, however, like his phrase “People lie” — and I believe I’ve used it a couple of hundred times over the past year.  ”Symptoms do not lie,” however, is going to be turned into a poster and put up on my cube, somewhere.

So, iTunes is currently downloading episode 3, having started episode 1 (the pilot) at 22:40 tonight.  It should be done sometime around, oh, around the Fourth of July.  After the fireworks show.  And the after-party.

Then I shall be able to pronounce my final opinion on this whole theory.

Until then: shut it, bitches.  You know who you are.  You’ve used your quota of vocabulary for the week.  (Week ends on Sunday night, European style.)

Zip-it!

Have fun, readers.  I’m going to play online flash games to alleviate the pain caused by this beknighted species.  Foolish monkeys who started this all by saying, “Hey, maybe we should leave the trees!”  Damned hominids, may their camel chips burn in the microwave.  Oh, wait, I forgot: they’re all dead by some seven thousand years.  Maybe I’ll just go to Africa and pee on their graves.

Skåll!!!